Days 4p, 5a, and 5p

I have some catching up to do…

Last night was pretty brutal. On the plus side, my boss let me have the night off, on the minus side, I was stuck feeling awful.

This morning, I had to work again, and surprisingly felt fine. I’ve noticed that recently, that in the morning I’m okay, but towards the end of the day my head gets progressively worse. Like a reverse hangover.

This morning I had fresh squeezed orange juice and a bran muffin, then for “lunch” I had a hand full of cashews and some sugar-free candy. Then, with great dismay, I ordered my bread-less, breaded onion-less, fry-less bison burger. I cried on the inside, and my coworkers laughed at me. To be fair, I’m sure it’s hilarious when you’re not writhing in pain to see someone morose over crispy onions. I couldn’t even finish the salad because I was disgusted with it, so I gave it  to one of my vegetarian coworkers.

So now I’m finally home, my head feels swollen and pounding, I have another yogurt smoothie that I’ll choke down later, but right now nothing sounds good.

As of this moment, I would rather starve than eat something that is not sugar.

I hope that anyone reading this will relate and know if they feel the same way, they are not alone. I feel completely insane because everything in me says to reject all food that is not starchy or sugary or bready. But I know it’s just The Beast scratching at my stomach making it believe these things.

I hold this truth in my heart: I’m at day 5, I have only 9 days to go.

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